extablisment

Now that marijuana is legal in the state of California, it's high time (ahem) for Exablisment and IdeasMillionDollar to offer readers our seven secrets to shopping "pot smart." 

 

Using essential purchasing techniques we've honed over years of dedicated connoisseur smoking, soon you'll be one of those choosy moms who knows how to choose Spliff more economically! Buying weed in Claremont and the Pomona Valley area without breaking the bank just got real.

 

Sound financial management is key because research suggests that cannabis (and the body's own cannibinoids) probably help prevent some forms of cancer; you'll have to plan on living longer if you're a hoobhead.  Start pinching your pennies now and you'll be set to hit those dank dabs until you're beyond 90, el duderino!

 

Of course, there are numerous dispensaries and delivery outfits here in the IE available to meet your reefer needs (and the number will surely grow). A brief glance at the listings on Leafly or Weedmaps will illustrate that fact.  Such prevalence might convince you that we are in a new era where 'legal grass' will be considered the norm. Well, slow your roll.

 

Note that these dispensaries will continue to exist in a quasi-legal state.  2018 brings changes according to The Cannabist, sure, but put down that roach clip. Most of your local government pearl-clutchers who run things don't care about the will of the people or their own obvious hypocrisies regarding alcohol. Most California towns (such as the little Inland Empire hamlet you live in, probably)has banned marijuana retail and commerce despite the popular will of the people.

 

Given those facts on the ground, how can you reliably find jazz cigarettes with any kind of real consistency? Sure, you could grow your own but let's be honest. You're no Dr. Greenthumb.You kill houseplants. So we here at Extablisment think having a smart game plan in place will allow you to cop your tea at a reasonable price without the kinds of hassles the hippies of yesteryear had to face. 

 

Below, find our seven simple tips for securing your personal pipe-puffing heaven without winding up in jail cell hell. You’re welcome, Inland Empire!

 

TIP #1: Avoid entanglements. Don't get your dispensary busted.

 

When you are buying your favorite indica or sativa for therapeutic purposes (or to enhance the sex life you enjoy with your partner) first figure out the laws and regulations in your hometown, county, and state. Just because it's now legal doesn’t mean it will be welcomed wherever you go. Hopefully, a tolerance will develop and freedom will ring, but don't count on it. Find a source or shop that has been around a year or more.They must be the ones doing well enough to have good lawyers or an accommodative city council and presumably won't get raided and shut down. Other shops may come and go; reward consistency and bravery.

 

Once located, don't be afraid to drive over to where you can buy from them reliably without the modern police state becoming involvOnce procured, always stash your weed in your trunk when travelling. It cuts down on the smell and may require a warrant to open).

 

Since it's obviously safe to assume that most authoritarians are still operating with a 1930's Anslinger prohibitionist mindset despite the abject failure of their policies and the racist nature of the law itself, be careful and avoid giving your dispensary a bad reputation with its neighbors. 

 

Keep noise down, don't act confrontational or anti-social on your way in or out, clean up after yourself, don't loiter or smoke in the parking lot, etc. Get in, be a respectable citizen, and then get out like you would any other store. 

 

While you as a consumer have (or will have) a legal right to possess and enjoy the substance, don't expect law enforcement in general to see your point of view and respect your liberty. Years of dogmatic propaganda from the Nixon administration since have ensured that one theoretical whiff of the devil's lettuce from your vehicle could turn your life upside down and get your property seized by the legal robbery mechanism of the Comprehensive Crime Control Act of 1984 if you’re not careful.

 

Thus, obey this rule religiously: Use only as directed.  Don't buy from a dispensary and then smoke right outside the shop or in your car before driving home. Not only will you bring legal problems down on your own sad and sorry self or cause an accident, you might also cost a small business person their livelihood.

 

If a local shop can be charged with encouraging loitering or other ticky-tack crimes, the conservative DA in town will slap an injunction on anything that grows in order to shut it all down... if they can. Don't let 'em. A better idea is just to wait until you get home to open your bag of goodies.

 

#2:  Use responsibly.

 

Don't make the rest of us look bad with some kind of asinine drug abuse. If you find that your smoking habit is causing you to act like an ass or neglect your responsibilities, if you are creating conflict with family or your partner over your behavior, or if your work is of a dangerous or sensitive nature in terms of the public's safety, why not simply take a breather from the substance and focus your energies on something more productive? Save your money, use it to put in that new hot tub time machine you're always talking about installing in the north forty of your yard.

 

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