Lit and Crit
Extablisment's Guide To
The Best Way
To Buy Weed
& The Inland
Continued from page 1.
It may feel good to dab or whatever the kids are doing these days but it feels better to be loved and to achieve things. Don't model stoner behavior for others. Relegate your drug use to weekends, after others are asleep, or special occasions.
As Epicurius once noted, "Even the most pleasurable things in life lose their luster after over-indulgence." While you can't die from a weed overdose, drug abuse of any kind is detrimental to your health and often contributes to long term personal issues. While some of those ills may be due to prohibition itself, only you know what is right for you and what is over-indulgence.
#3: Moderation Saves! Avoid increasing your tolerance.
If it takes six hits to get you as high as three used to, you are wasting your money. Concentrates like dabs etc also increase your THC tolerance. At a certain point, you will increase your tolerance so much that no matter what you do or how much you smoke the high be a dull affair with little of the spark of enjoyment you used to get from it. Moderate and modulate your use and you will enjoy it as well as save money. Avoid falling into the mental and financial sinkhole of addiction or dependency.
Ok, now with those public service announcements out of the way, we can talk about the best way to go about copping your Maui Wowie or Acapulco Gold for the nice price.
Tip #4: Ask The Right Questions When Buying
Who grew it? How old is it? What kind is it and what is the general consensus regarding its strength? Model the questions on the same type of questions a wine connoisseur would ask of their tipple.
Basically, weed these days is comparable to wine. It has a "nose" as well as a potential potency level similar to a wine's label-listed alcohol content. It also has a "terrior" or taste and consistency which comes from where and how it was grown and the type of seed it is. Considering all these questions before you buy will help you to answer the most basic issue: How potent is it really?
Naturally, you want the most potent stuff you can find. A more potent strain theoretically will last you longer because you will need less of it per session to get the desired effect. Over time, this can save you money. We also advise to avoid edibles if you are a beginner. Those last longer, come on slower, and are more unpredictable or disappointing in their potency. By buying marihuana flowers and smoking them you can easily control the intensity. If it is potent stuff, just smoke less of it. Pinch off less of it for your pipe like an old dude in a Hemmingway story and then sit and fish all day to your heart's content, metaphorically.
Here's one simple technique that housewives invented you should use: when taking your hit, inhale slowly while letting a large amount of air into your lungs as you normally would. Savor the flavor of burnt leaves on your palatte just as you would a Cuban cigar or a fine Scotch, and then be prepared to sit back and enjoy your journey along the road to Shambala.
Some people may prefer a 'mid-shelf' product because they don't want to get knocked out or go on a bummer. That is fine. It is, after all, a drug. Without some experience with it you will be disoriented and possibly prone to making poor decisions or anxiety. Make sure your "set and setting" are appropriate for enjoyment. Start with a few tokes on something less powerful and learn to appreciate what it feels like to massage your body's endo-cannibinoid system.
If you are a veteran of the psychic wars and are getting bored of this soccer mom approach to the subject, we understand (though we may protest we're certainly still a MILF).
From here on out it's strictly our top-shelf tips and suggestions. Here's a list of questions to ask a budtender while you try to avoid looking at her cleavage.
Question A: Who is the grower? What farm did this come from? After all, the same seeds in the hands of two different farms can yield radically different potencies. Knowing who the grower is and what their reputation for quality is can be key to finding the best herb in the tri-county area. Most budtenders don't know. "Umm, not sure," they will probably say, "but it's fire!" More often than not the budtender won't know if their produce was made in-house, bought from a farm directly or from a third party on Bud Trader.
You should look for a dispensary that grows their own product with no middle man if you can. If you can't find that, at least find a dispensary that can tell you who grew their product. For example, back in the day there was a dispensary in LA that always carried product from Loompa Farms. It was top shelf quality and consistently the same potency each time.
Question B: How old is it? When did the shop get that particular inventory in? They might not be able to answer other than to estimate a few weeks or promise that it's fresh. Sure, there are cannabis testing companies and dispensaries which deliver chemical breakdowns and estimates of potency based on THC percentage for their products, but most of the time buds come in and go out so fast and age so quick that many of the numbers are unreliable or even --gasp-- made up.
A liquor bottle label's estimate of alcohol by volume or "proof" is a fairly reliable description of the potency of the liquid inside. It can remain fairly stable for decades. The THC estimates for a cannabis flower or shatter or dab, however, can be all over the place within a short span of a matter of months. Potency tends to weaken over longer periods of time. In less than a year, depending on how the substance is handled, what once was a 24% THC flower might dip to15% THC if it is exposed to sunlight and air often. Thus, generally, the fresher the better. (But not always-- more on that below).
If your shop hasn't tested their weed and doesn’t offer solid numbers, you will unfortunately be relying on the totally subjective opinion of the budtender. "These nugs are the bomb, my fave" means nothing. Maybe they're fine for him, but maybe not you. Maybe they were fire when they were fresh and now they're just embers. It's also always possible that the dispensary has an agenda. A store with too much indica in stock might suggest their budtenders bring out the jar of old OG Kush first so they can reduce their inventory of the type before it weakens enough that it has to go on the mid-shelf.
Nonetheless, to be a smart shopper instead of a shart shopper (tm), look to save money by keeping an eye out for dry and crumbling produce rather than the freshest most glittery jar on the shelf.Yes, you heard right. Don't necessarily buy the freshest! Keep in mind that most of the weight of ganja is water. Be on the look-out for bud that is only slightly past its prime.
While brown old weed is a bummer, dry and crumbling green cannabis which was 26% THC a month ago might seem old to a shop but it probably is still very worthwhile 23% THC stuff. Hence, don't be afraid to go for what might look like a lonely old jar of popcorn nugs pushed to the far side of their well-lit top shelf rather than a budtender recommendation. It could have less water weight and thus you get more produce on the scale per gram!
But that's not our only jaw-dropping mind-melting pot pro tip! Some of our best ways to stretch your Ent dollar are on the next page!
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